Triumph Inauguration Trump Assists - CONAN on TBS
A dachshund into a telegraph office, take an empty form, Woof Woof Woof written Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof.
The clerk looks on paper for a minute before saying the dog, you know, there are only nine words here, you can add another Woof for the same price.
The dachshund shakes his head in disbelief clerk But it would not make sense at all.
I hid pictures on my computer to caress me the animals at the zoo in a file named Fireworks and so my empty dog won t find.
Penn Jillette, the talkative half of the magic duo Penn & Teller, shared with us his own favorite joke.
Two racehorses are stable says to the other, you know, before this last race.
Yes, before the race, I felt a twinge in my hindquarters.
The other horse is, funny, I felt a twinge in my hindquarters before the race I won.
A dog walking by said, you idiots, you are being doped They YOu injection of a drug to make you faster.
The first horse turns to the other and says: Hey, a talking dog.
A dog goes into a bar and orders a martini the bartender says: You do not see a dog drinking a martini here very often.
The dog said, at these prices, I'm not surprised.
A burglar broke into a house, he began to shine his light around looking for valuables Some beautiful things catch the eye, and as it happens to them, he hears Jesus looks at you Surprised burglar looking speaker Do seeing no one, he keeps putting things into her bag again, he hears Jesus looks at you this time, he sees a parrot.
Who the hell would name a bird Moses, the man laughed.
I do not know, Moses said: I guess the same kind of people would name a Rottweiler Jesus.
The dog next door a bit noisy if one day someone called animal control to complain when the police arrived, I heard my neighbor say, Hey, dogs bark It is human nature.
When our dog lapped Frost client, the vet, I work to control a single treatment of a mixture of liquid drop by drop IV with vodka Go buy cheapest bottle you can find, he said.
At the liquor store, I am uncomfortable to buy cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk.
Believe it or not, I said, this is a sick dog.
As I was leaving the next customer plunked down two bottles of Muscat and announced, These are my cats.
Are dream jackpot slinking on the podium If so, give it a name that screams I'm not a star like the names of real animals.
Cats Meow Cleocatra Bing Clawsby President Alexander Gray.
Dogs Mary-Louise Barker Bettie Poops Virginie Woof Iggy Pup.
As the stranger enters a country store, he sees a danger sign Beware of the dog inside, he sees a harmless old dog asleep in the middle of the floor.
Does the dog we're supposed to be wary of her request to the owner.
It doesn t look dangerous to me Why would you post that sign.
Before I sign posted that, people kept tripping over him.
Dog funny jokes jokes About Digest reader Canines, funny, Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof.